The Tennyson Connection part 2
We are fortunate that Catherine Rawnsley (ne Franklin) kept a daily journal for part of her married life, as well as writing down her reminiscences. A few pages inserted into her journal for 1877-1882 cover the high points from earlier years, one of which is 1850:
“1850 opened pleasantly & was an important one for we were able to help Alfred & Emily Tennyson in arranging their long delayed marriage they met for the first [time] after 6 or 8 years separation at our house in April & were married after much consideration & many pros & cons from our house by my husband in presence of my Uncle Sellwood Emily’s Father, Mr & Mrs Lushington (his sister), Charles Weld her brother in law & myself & children. I felt it a great responsibility to have had so much to do with it but still I felt sure I was right & they were each doing the best for their own & each others real happiness in marrying.”
How exactly did she manage to bring about Alfred and Emily’s marriage? Fortunately we have Catherine’s diary for 1850 which provides a more contemporary account of this achievement. The entries are at times too brief, they leave the reader longing for more detail and are of course open to different interpretations. My own interpretation is that their decision to marry was not taken lightly, it was a tortuous process for all involved, including Catherine, with an uncertain ending which could have swung either way.
The first mention of Emily, or “E” as she appears in Catherine’s diary, is when Catherine and Alfred Tennyson, ( “A” in the diary) are staying at Shawell, Rugby with the Elmhirst’s on 19th January 1850. This was the home of Rev Drummond Rawnsley’s sister Sophy, married to Rev Edward Elmhirst. Alfred had just read Locksley Hall to them after dinner:
“I think I first touched on E that evening after the others said good night.”
A few days later, whilst still at Shawell, Catherine writes:
“… had a long talk about E with A. I stood up for her boldly I think to his surprise somewhat. However I said no more than I thought was laid on me to say it was – was not satisfactory I can hardly tell my own feeling about it but it was deeply interesting to me …. 24th In the morning another talk in the smoking room about E. Nothing more came of it yet I feel I did no harm & I did to a certain degree satisfy my own conscience”
A few months later, back at Shiplake Vicarage on March 24th Catherine received a note from Alfred to say that he was coming to visit. He arrived the next day with the newly packaged volume of Elegies (the original title of In Memoriam). He left on the 30th “promising to return in a weeks time” which he did on April 9th. Alfred’s brother Horatio Tennyson (“H”) appeared unexpectedly on the 13th April and remained until the 18th. Emily was coming to stay on the 18th and Catherine expected Alfred to depart along with Horatio, but he stayed:
“I went alone to fetch E & broke it to her that A staid to meet her. At first she was all aghast but recovered herself & said she would get over the meeting as well & firmly as she possibly could. Most unpleasant it was he looked darker than usual as she came into the room she was self possessed but got nervous. The hurry of H’s departure helped one a little out of the awkwardness then A & I walked with him to the ferry & he made me angry by saying [?] wish I had gone too. Why did you not then was my reply, no one asked you to stay, you cannot say they did. It was quite your own doing you know “Yes well perhaps it was” was the reply & we walked slowly home. Dubbie was gone out to dinner & we got over the evening as well as we could”
“Dubbie” was Catherine’s nickname for her husband Drummond. It has been said that religion was one of the main differences between Emily & Alfred, Emily coming from a devout Christian family whereas Alfred's poetry was thought to convey more atheist views. However Catherine writes on 19th April:
“A rather grumpy & E uncomfortable, I wishing myself entirely out of it & them, he talked to her on religious points in which they agreed”
This sign of progress seemed to stall the next day:
“A resolved to leave us till Tuesday having a dinner engagement … begged me to go to the train with him & began to talk of E. I told him clearly he must take care & that if he meant to go no further he had better perhaps not return on Tuesday he said “might he not stay” Certainly I said if that really was his wish & intention but not otherwise. We argued the point got somewhat vexed. I left him in 20 seconds & then wrote a line to make it clear I did not wish to prevent his coming if he thought it right. No reply & no return Monday Tuesday Wednesday on Thursday he appeared as we were finishing dinner, a long talk with him afterwards in which he took wonderful pains to clear himself from all conscience in the matter of his return & then ended by telling me to send E to sit with him”
A few days later and Catherine observes:
“Alfred walked along pipe in mouth & E on his arm looking more in his element than he felt as she thought it right to speak about his habits. I had a nice walk there with him a lovely day”
But a few days later on the 29th another turn for the worst:
“Mr Walls left us he drove to the station leaving A & E alone, who took advantage of our absence for a long talk over their affairs. Found both in the drawing room on our return, she very red & he very grim & grave”
Again the next day she observes “Nothing settled E very uncomfortable” On May 1st Catherine & Alfred walk to the ferry, during which she hears:
“all his doubts & get rather sick of them. Emily looking over & correcting In Memoriam. A gradually softening & becoming more attentive”
There are no entries in the diary for the next few days, until 6th May, when:
“After much indecision A made up his mind to go & take a whole day to consider of it & then send the results of such deliberation to Emily. Went off out of sorts perhaps vexed because I would not ask him to stay ”
The following day finds “Emily rather disturbed” but finally a day later on 8th May all is resolved:
“a little note to me announcing A’s resolve to be married in a month & one to E to the same effect … May it be for their good”
So it appears that the final decision of whether or not to go ahead with marriage was left with Alfred and conveyed to both Emily and Catherine in separate written notes, and after all the years of waiting they had one month to prepare!
It has always been understood that Emily’s reading of, and comments for In Memoriam (originally the Elegies) was an important part of their decision to marry. When Alfred visited Catherine & Drummond on 25th March 1850, he brought them a copy of the Elegies. This was one of six untitled copies that had been specially printed for Tennyson. A letter from Emily to Catherine dated 1 April 1850 , (now at Harvard) implies that Emily had already read the Elegies by this date, and also implies that they had been sent to her by Catherine. If so Catherine must have sent her the package soon after 25th March, while Alfred was still staying with them (he left on 30th March), otherwise the time frame seems troublingly short. It has been claimed that Emily chose the final title in May 1850 but this may have occurred earlier, as Emily was staying at Shiplake from 18th April and Catherine’s diary confirms that this new title was in use on or by 1st May 1850.
The wedding took place at Shiplake Church on 13th June 1850, with Rev Drummond Rawnsley officiating. Catherine records the day in her diary:
“ a memorable day in the annals of the church and family the Poet Tennyson married to Emily Sellwood. Memorable to him as the beginning we may hope of a great change for the better, in all ways, to her as the fulfillment of hopes long deferred, to me as taking so much interest in both. To little Mary as being bridesmaid for the first time in her life. To Dr as being the tier of the knot. To each & all of us here assembled a memorable & a really happy day. Both got thro’ remarkably well & the little breakfast was a cheerful one.”
Emily Tennyson c1862 Alfred Tennyson c1862
Tennyson wrote a poem as a reminder of the happy day, with a short accompanying note :
Dear Drummond
I send you my poem made for the most part in your carriage between Shiplake and Reading. Keep it to yourself, as I should have kept it to myself if Kate had not asked for it – ie keep it till I give you leave to make it public.
Ever yours
A. Tennyson
Vicar of that pleasant spot
Where it was my chance to marry,
Happy, happy be your lot
In the Vicarage by the Quarry –
You were he that tied the knot.
Sweetly, smoothly flow your life
Never parish feud perplex you,
Tithe unpaid or party strife,
All things please you, nothing vex you,
You have given me such a wife
Have I found in one so near,
Ought but sweetness aye prevailing,
Or thro’ more than half a year
Half the fraction of a failing?
Therefore bless you, Drummond dear!
Good she is and pure and just –
Being conquered by her sweetness,
I shall come through her, I trust,
Into fuller orbed completeness,
Tho’ but made of erring dust.
You meanwhile shall day by day
Watch your standard roses blowing,
And your three young things at play,
And your triple terrace growing
Green to greener every day.
Smoothly flow your life with Kate’s,
Glancing off from all things evil,
Smooth as Thames below your gates,
Thames along the silent level
Streaming through his osier’d aits
Sources & notes:
Rawnsley Archive RR/1/6 Catherine Rawnsley’s reminiscences added to her diary of 1877-1882
Rawnsley Archive RR/1/3 Catherine Rawnsley’s diary 1850. As far as I am aware, none of the Tennyson biographers have used this particular source.
The Boundless Deep. Young Tennyson, Science and the Crisis of Belief Richard Holmes. William Collins 2025. p276-277
The Letters of Emily Lady Tennyson edited by James O. Hoge. The Pennsylvania State University Press 1974 Letter from Emily Tennyson to Catherine Rawnsley, 1 April 1850 p44-45
"Kate" or "Katie" was Catherine Rawnsley.
This is the only photograph of Emily in the family archives, from Catherine Rawnsley's photograph album. LA/O/5/2. They probably date to around 1862
Rawnsley Archive RR/13/26. “To the Vicar of Shiplake” (copy) Langney Archive LA/11/6 also contains a typed copy.